A while back I was reminded that there are two times you don’t need to worry. I worry more than most, so I was very much looking forward to those two special times when I could stop worrying, knocking off about (5%? 10%) of my worry list. Clearly, I believed that if I could cross two instances of worry off my list, my burden would be lessened. The secret to worrying less was revealed to me, in shocking fashion:
- You don’t need to worry if you can do something about the situation
- You don’t need to worry if you can’t do anything about the situation
I shopped this set of circumstances around and was directed to the Dalai Lama:
- If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
As you can clearly see, based on logic, the need to worry should be reduced to about 0% of circumstances. Logic and emotions don’t always go hand in hand, but it may behoove any of us worriers (talented though we may be!) to allow logic to guide our process and allow us to access some relief from anxiety and worry.
Maybe try this approach and get back to me. Can you categorize your worries into things you can and cannot do anything about…and then chart out your efforts around your worry? Is it possible to use logic to worry less? You tell me – does this approach work for you?